Thursday, July 9, 2009


Yep, that's what I've got...baggage. Excess baggage to be honest. And I'm not speaking of a bunch of luggage filled with bricks, although it sure feels that heavy!

No, it's all this excess stuff my brain has to keep track of - general information, adoption time lines, birthdays, phone numbers, work deadlines, grocery lists, play dates, passwords, code words...

What can I get rid of, what bit of baggage can I just forget? Well if only it were that simple. But alas, my brain with its baggage is much like my five year old and her toys. We can do a "keep pile" and a "get rid of pile" but the keep pile grows while the to go pile remains empty. My brain tries to keep track of it all but unfortunately is too overwhelmed to do a very good job. It thinks if it tucks away all the information it can pull it back out at just the right moment. And sometimes it does. At just the right moment it goes "here need to know this right now" but then other times it remembers too late, sometimes even hours too late. Like at 2:30 in the morning when it screams "oh no, needed to know this for that very important client today, um actually yesterday I guess...remember?"

Well then, I guess I am partly to blame for this mess we've gotten in, me and my brain. I keep testing it, putting more and more stuff in there.
And this adoption isn't helping, I've really thrown my brain for a loop this time. Too many what ifs. My brain likes precise data and dates. None of this maybe in a month, maybe in two or three. It needs concrete time lines so it can plan accordingly. (remember...type A thing) And the new rules I've had to instill just to keep my brain from overloading too much at work. No email checking or even any Internet from 10 to 2, so I can stop hitting the refresh button and then getting super disappointed that the magical email hasn't appeared saying the first ruling is in and we're one step closer. My brain just gets too involved in the whole thing and sadly my work is suffering from it!

But there is some hope. I read an article in one of our local magazines the other day. The writer is pregnant and was talking about "placenta brain" (ya, sounds pretty icky doesn't it?). So I've been thinking about that, how can I apply this placenta thing to me? I know it's not hormonal for me but I tell you my symptoms sound eerily similar. So I've set my brain on a new task...I know, I know, more work for the poor thing. But it is in charge of thinking of a way to tie this all together so I at least have a name for my forgetfulness. When people say "Gee Jennifer, you seem so distracted, so scatterbrained and absentminded lately, what’s up?", then I can have an actual name for my situation. Instead of the 20 minute explanation, complete with a few tears and nose snuffling, I can just say..."Oh I've got ________ brain, it's really quite common".

Obviously no news on my Taiwan baby. And yes, the wait is really starting to get to me, and we're only on day 51 of the estimated 1-3 month wait. And then we have two more wait times before we finally go get him. Ugh!

And people ask if we'll ever adopt again! Ha ha...what do you think.
OK, ya maybe


Michelle said...

Boy can I relate. The Taiwan adoption process is extremely trying on our type A personalities, that's for sure. The time you're in right now, was definitely the hardest on me. Now that we have our civil, I'm so much more relaxed and even enjoying the process now, imagine that! And for what it's worth, we got our civil 59 days after the hearing. You should be hearing soon!! Hugs...

Terry said...

Wow, how did you read my thoughts so perfectly ?? Also a Type A here....we are STILL waiting for referral, nope, no news :-( but you certainly summed up my feelings. I understand how you feel. And I've been surf controlled, so my brain (with similar symptoms) wanders even more!!

I hope that you hear something soon!! I haven't been blogging lately (busyness overload) but I will be checking more often, just knowing that your good news isn't far away! Keeping you in my thoughts often! :-)

Lisa said...

Hmmm...I so like a challenge so maybe if we all put our AP & PAP heads together we can rustle up a name for that adoption addled, guess what? I just think you are doing soooooo well with...well, everything!!

When one baby is half a world away and the other is home keeping you on your proverbial toes, its tough not to feel the overload....and the sadness of lost time(baby across the big pond!). I was fortunate to be able to throw myself into the holidays during this icky stage & timeline during our process; my heart goes out to you and all the Mamas waiting this agonizing wait.

As for the excess baggage.....never really considered myself a Type A, but others would be to differ :) sooooooo I tried to think of mine as "folders" instead of suitcases.....much easier to file away in tidy, neat piles! Yep, I like mental images too! LOL

AND just in case this is happening to you....Scott was soooo zen about the wait AND it drove me NUTSO!! Just sayin.....

Hugs my friend!

Anonymous said...

Hi- I don't know you, but I found your blog about adopting from Taiwan. My husband and I are in the beginning stages of the adoption process (researching, lots of questions). I was wondering if there was any helpful sites you could point me to? Also, what agency did you use?
Thanks a ton! Erin in Charlotte, NC