Monday, January 25, 2010

Got Sleep?

And if so, I'd love to borrow some. Just a little, really--- I'll take anything you can spare!

Ah yes, sleep issues and the adoptive family.

Sleep is definitely one of the big issues when adopting an older infant. There are many blog posts, chats on "the boards" and emails between friends on this one issue. The adoptive parent has different factors to take into account when trying to get a good nights sleep than a family that has had their child in the home from earlier on.

Literature written by adoptive specialists and doctors all agree that the "cry out method" is not in the best interest of an adoptive child who is learning to trust and bond with his new family. I've mentioned before that many even recommend "co-sleeping" with your newly adopted child to help with that process. Of course there are some children that find their cribs to be a safe and comfortable place, often almost craving that security. Like Simone, who slept in her crib from day one, through the night, and never gave even a second thought to sleeping with us. In fact when we did pull her into our bed for some morning snuggles she really was quite uncomfortable and did not want to stay.

And then you have Sammy.

Sammy likes to co-sleep, cuddle, lay on top of you...all of it. He sure falls asleep easy enough- bath, book, bottle...night night little boy. And he'll go down into his crib. Until he wakes up and realizes he is not in as close of proximity to you as he'd like! Nap time is pretty much the same, now as I type he lays across my lap as happy and cozy as can be.
But nap time, as difficult as it is to put aside the things I need to get done, is not the problem. No it's really the night time. We've tried to keep Sammy in his crib all night...every time he wakes I go rushing down the hall to pat and rub his back, maybe rock him for a bit and once he's back asleep he goes back into the crib.
Until he wakes up a short time later and then back I go rushing back again to pat, rub and rock. So I'm exhausted in the morning and I know he's not getting a full nights sleep. Not to mention our little girl in the room across the hall...she gets woken up as well by his cries. After the third time I usually give up and bring him back into our bed until morning. And finally he sleeps...good sleep too.

So now I ask it worth it to just give in and co-sleep? He obviously craves closeness and feels safer in my arms. I know he is sure of his place in our family and I know the trust is completely there, but I also know he is just more comfortable and happier being cuddled. So I find myself crossing sides, from the person against co-sleeping to...well to one who is sort of okay with it.

This week we've moved his crib into our bedroom with the plan of trying to get him in there through the night. He decided to get sick though (yucky bout of RSV & ear infection...poor baby!) so he's been in with me anyway- so I can make sure he's okay. But once this is over we'll go back to trying to get him in his own space -partially in our space still. A compromise I suppose.

And until we get it all sorted out and everyone is in their respective beds I'll be asking....
got sleep?


Mark & Kris said...

Sorry you are so tired!! If it helps at all, we co-slept with our kids! Just seemed like we got the best, well more, sleep that way. In my opinion, humble as it is, if that is what he wants and it isn't bothering you or your husband it may just work best right now. The crib beside the bed works well, too!! I always just viewed it as they wouldn't always want to cuddle with me so might as well take advantage of it now. Praying you get some good sleep!! Kris

Lisa said...

I know the crib in the room technique has had fabulous results for so many! I think there are also co-sleeping devices ( for lack of the right word...LOL ) that attach right to bed next to Mama ~ that might work too!!

Ah gosh...sorry to hear about the nasty bout of sickness dust ~ you guys have certainly had your fair share for the year! :( Your's is the 4th or 5th blog I've read recently were a child has caught RSV.....I hope he's back to 100% & SOON!!

As to the debate of do it or not to....honestly my philosophy remains nestled in the "whatever works best for baby/family" camp!!

I know you will find just the right solution my friend, but until then I'm sending wishes for a much deserved good nights sleep!!

You asked, got sleep? Yep, we did.....but now the molars have been invited to the party, so just sign me....

fellow unrested Mama in the Midwest :)

日月神教-任我行 said...