Thursday, December 11, 2008

Christmas Cookie Rules

So, my dear friend Suzy sent me this in an email... I'm sure some of you are aware of these very important rules for the Holiday season, but I felt it was important that we all go over them one more time, mainly because between the stress of the holidays and the stress of this adoption, well, I'll be eating A LOT of cookies. And yes, Christmas cookies do go well with a nice Pinot Noir...

Christmas Cookie Rules
1. If you eat a Christmas cookie fresh out of the oven,
it has no calories because everyone knows that the
first cookie is the test and thus calorie free.

2. If you drink a diet soda after eating your second cookie,
it also has no calories because the diet soda cancels out the cookie calories.

3. If a friend comes over while you are making your Christmas cookies and needs to sample, you must sample with your friend.
Because your friend's first cookie is calorie free, rule #1 is yours also. It would be rude to let your friend sample alone, and being the friend that you are makes your cookie calorie free.

4. Any cookie calories consumed while walking around will fall to your feet and eventually fall off as you move. This is due to gravity and the density of the caloric mass.

5. Any calories consumed during the frosting of the Christmas cookies will be used up because it takes many calories to lick excess frosting from a knife without cutting your tongue.

6. Cookies colored red or green have very few calories.
Red ones have 3 and green ones have 5 - one calorie for each letter. Make more red ones!

7. Cookies eaten while watching Miracle on 34th Street have no calories because they are part of the entertainment package and not part of one's personal fuel.

8. As always, cookie pieces contain no calories because the process of breaking causes calorie leakage.

9. Any cookies consumed from someone else's plate has no calories since the calories rightfully belong to the other person and will cling to their plate. We all know how calories like to CLING!

And finally...
10. Any cookies consumed while feeling stressed have no calories because cookies used for medicinal purposes NEVER have calories. It's a rule! (and possibly my favorite!!)

Enjoy your cookies! J

1 comment:

Lisa said...

I plan on making LOTS of red ones and consuming them with Diet Coke, thus negating any & all calories! :) Though I do like your wine tip too....giggle...

Hugs & thanks for the fun my friend!
P.S. Lookie...lookie...a short comment from ME ;)
P.S.S. I read some to Lauren...her response? "What's a calorie and what's the big deal with them anyways?" Oh to be so young!!