And then it hit me...

Yep, the moment I've been waiting for. Well, not the BIG moment, I mean I haven't gotten "the call" yet. But in order to tell you this I just have to start at the start and tell you it all.

We've had unusually cold weather here in East Tenn. I read a news headline that said "Y'all, its frigid in the South", and in this part of Tennessee we consider ourselves Southerners. I mean, you order an iced tea and it's going to be "sweet tea", we love to say y'all and some of our men are comfortable in bib overalls and like to talk about their tractors...but I digress.

So in my infinite wisdom I decided that at night it may help to keep the house warm if I close all of the curtains and blinds (it at least makes it appear warmer and feel snugglier). And here I am going through the house shutting us in and I went into the spare bedroom. Now that room will eventually become the baby's nursery, we just haven't bothered to even start changing it yet, too much expectation there if we did. But the crib is up and shoved in a corner because for our photo pages for the adoption we had to show the nursery completed. So we put the crib up with a wall hanging (a gift from Auntie Annie) above it, moved the dresser out of the way, put a rocking chair and a bunch of stuffed animals next to the crib and bing bang- we had our nursery photo. And well, we just haven't taken the crib down, since it'll eventually be in there anyway.

So as I'm closing the blinds in there and I see the crib and it hit me, finally... for the first time I felt the baby. I had that pang of wanting, knowing someday soon I'd be tucking him in and kissing his soft cheek and feeling my gushes of love for him (ahem, or her). I could see me carrying him in his little Ergo carrier (thanks to my JOH pals for enlightening me to the Ergo, can't wait to finally purchase it!), and I can start to envision this new family member with us. I started to think about car seat placement and nap schedules and baby food and changing diapers (Yuck!) and how it would be to take both of my darlings to the children's museum (where we took Simone yesterday with two of her BFF's-fun times). Now I am finally ready for this addition- I know it'll be soon and I feel so ready to become a Mama again. I don't know if it's seeing my blog pal Lisa's pictures of her beautiful and peaceful nursery for her very soon to be home son, or if it is the inspiration of the other's in my JOH group picking out paint colors and buying bottles and cloth diapers that got me here. Or maybe I had to get here myself before I can get our referral, you know, like Karma...

I've been having such a hard time waiting to get that magical phone call, it's all I can think about and I really have been getting sad and disappointed each night when it doesn't come. I think maybe I wanted the call so it could feel more real, so I could fully feel like we are adopting again. Another adoption just seemed like this abstract idea, like something that may come through, may become a reality...until now. Now I am ready to bond with my little dumpling. And yes, I am still scared of all of the challenges that will come and how our lives will yet again change so much. But you know, we did it once and it was the most wonderful and awe inspiring decision we've ever made. Simone changed our lives in ways that I never ever imagined. She is the most incredible gift of love and I enjoy every moment of being her Mama. I know that our next little one will double our joy and enrich our lives even more, I can feel it.

OK, so that's my story, that's what finally hit me. J

And PS Simone has chosen the name that she would like for her baby brother, its "Chip". Yep, Chip.

A great new blog

Blog site: http://jennyscollectables.blogspot.com/

Located in the Northeast Kingdom of Vermont, in the village of Barton, overlooking Crystal Lake on Rt. 16, Jenny's Collectibles is a delightful and fascinating adventure into old time Vermont.

So this is my Mom's shop, named after yours truly...

My Mom decided to open this antiques and collectibles shop last summer and is really enjoying it. She has some very cool items for sale, like jewelry, quilts and serving ware. And it has a real cozy, homey feel inside the shop and is always decorated for the season outside. From the store you have mountain and lake views and it's in a truly beautiful location. (It is where we spend every Christmas and a week every summer, and is where I grew up!)

She just started her blog to be able to post new items for sale and things of interest. If you are ever in the Northeast part of Vermont during season (spring, summer & fall), please stop by and check it out. She also has items for sale on line, hence the blog!

That's all for now!
J

Let's hear it for the Dads!

Yes, let's hear it for the Dads, and not just any dad, but the truly great Dads.
As Adam and I await news of our next baby I am once again amazed at his excitement and nervousness and joy at the prospect of adding to our family. He is just as anxious to get "the big call" as I am.
I am so in love and so proud every time I hear and see him with Simone- making her laugh, teaching her how to play checkers and to hit a baseball, and yes, playing barbies. All these things he does so effortlessly and with so much love for her. He always does whatever is needed, whatever is in her best interest. He respects her birth culture and gladly trots on to language class and culture camp with her, so she knows how important her roots are to him too. And talk about protective! Mama bear move over when Daddy thinks his cub needs him! It sometimes brings tears to my eyes when I feel the love they share, and to know how lucky I am to have found this wonderful man.

And being my kids Dad is a big job. I have the best Dad ever, so I expect nothing but awesomeness from the man that will be by my side as the other biggest influence in their lives.
I have so many memories of my Dad and know there are so many more to come...
I was his side kick growing up - he always made me feel like it was him & me off on a big adventure. He has this wonderful sense of humour, and I think he really enjoys making me laugh, which he does easily. We have our little jokes, things nobody else really gets, that make us crack up and makes my Mom go "Oh Bob". And now he is keeping this tradition with Simone, who can't wait for me to read (over and over again) what "Poppa Bob the diggiest dog" has written to her anytime she gets a card from my parents.

And growing up my sweet Irish Dad always made sure my Native American heritage was important to me, the only sure thing we know about my nationality. By giving gifts that represented that culture and by showing me he respected the fact that my birth father was Native American he showed me how important I was to him, no matter where, or whom I came from. That in itself is one of the greatest and most selfless of gifts a Dad can give.

So I want to give a big shout out to the two most amazing Dads I know. My Dad helped shape who I am (and did a pretty great job, it's not his fault I'm so goofy...or is it, hmmm) and my husband will do the same for our children. And I couldn't have asked for a better man for that job, or for a better man to be my Dad.

Now let's hope we get that call to become parents again real soon so we can put Adam to the test again!

J

A few more deer pictures, cause they are sooo cute!

Here's a few more photo's of the deer that come to my parents house in the winter. These were taken during the day, which is a rare but amazing time to see them. They like to come and eat the black sunflower seeds that my Dad puts out.

Adam took these shots through the window and as you can see she finally got a bit nervous and headed on her way.

As for the reindeer food...well you see, Poppa's deer are the "special helpers" for Santa's sleigh. When Donner or Blitzen get tired or hungry, Santa exchanges that deer for one of Poppa's and then drops them back off when they are done delivering presents. So we put out Poppa's special recipe that helps give them that extra boost! It is made with oats, cinnamon, sugar, jimmies (or sprinkles depending on where you grew up), and some glitter if you have it handy. You mix it up nicely, of course by hand! And viola-reindeer food.

Now wasn't that fun!

J

A white Christmas!

Last week we flew to Vermont to celebrate Christmas with my family. The drive from the airport to the house was a bit snowy....

These look like black and white pics, but there really not. This was coming through Franconia Notch in NH.

That night Santa came with lots of presents for my special little girl. I guess she must have been pretty good this year! Her prize possession, the BFF singing Barbies!

Christmas night my brother and his family came. Poppa and the girls made reindeer food with oats and cinnamon and sparkles, and flung it into the night sky. The wind was whipping pretty good and we all went running into the house with sugar and sparkles in our hair, eyes...everywhere. But the deer LOVED it, and that night we actually had 9 in the yard!

We all made a snowman. He is an interesting fellow (like the zucchini mouth?) Simone wanted to leave plenty for the deer to eat and thought they could snack on a squash!

**Lauren, we thought he could be pals with your "snow dude", what do ya think?**

And the girls loved sledding down the back yard, I think we pulled them maybe 15 or so times. All the parents slept well that night! It was so much fun, amazing how snow can create such wonderful memories!

And isn't it cute, my folks holding hands...

I got the girls matching PJ's. They had such fun together! This was the first year they really played together, being a year and 1/2 age difference. Simone enjoyed having her little cousin around and can't wait to see her again.

We even went on a sleigh ride in Stowe, VT. It was really incredible and both the girls had big ole grins on the whole time.

But it sure was cooooold and I forgot my hat! Silly Tennessee girl!

We found a great little English Pub for lunch there too! You know I'm all about the food!

So now the festivities of Christmas are past and tonight we celebrate ringing in the New Year (if I can manage to stay awake!) I guess it's time to look back at all that has happened in 2008 and look forward to all the new things in 2009. It was a very good year... it has been amazing watching Simone grow so much and learn so many new things, and of course all of the preparation for our next little won ton coming home have both filled me with memories of a great 2008. I am excited to see all the new and exciting changes 2009 has yet to bring. (and YES, still waiting on the referral...gives us something to look forward to next year!)

Happy New Year everyone!

Peace and joy to you all tonight...

J

Happy Holidays to all!

Simone is a pretty lucky little girl, she gets to partake in many traditions and aspects of this Holiday season. Our family has started our holiday celebrations, as last night was the first night of Hanukkah. We will celebrate this "festival of lights" for the next seven nights by lighting a candle on the Menorah at sundown. And yes, Simone will open one small gift each night...what fun! We will also share in the celebration of one of the most important holy days of the year for my parents. It means so much to us to be there with them, and although we don't celebrate the religious part, we are thankful Simone (and our next little one) get to see, understand and learn to respect other peoples religious beliefs. And of course we'll have a late night visit from the other big guy, you know the one who is jolly and has a sleigh pulled by reindeer. Naturally he comes to Grammie & Poppa's each year since they have a Christmas tree and all that snow!
For us the holidays are a wonderful reason to get together with our families, and celebrate not only our beliefs in religion but our love and appreciation for each other. I have so very much come to look forward to this time that we all get to wind down, relax, recharge and enjoy each other. I hope all of your holidays are blessed with love laughter and family, good food and cherished memories! J
Oh and that beautiful Menorah Simone is holding was made by her wonderful teacher as a gift.